Aarron On Getting Married At Canvas House & Advice For LGBTQIA+ Weddings In Melbourne

Last year, Aarron Baker-Gould tied the knot here at Canvas House. Head of Events of the Melbourne event space and combining twenty years of experience in event planning, industry connections, and flare for the finer details, the day was nothing short of spectacular.

As part of the LGBTQIA+ community, Aarron is passionate about providing safe spaces for all kinds of love stories to take centre stage – including his own. Canvas House’ ethos is centered on inclusivity, luxury and flexibility, and that’s exactly how his wedding was curated.

Recently returned from honeymoon, read our conversation on Aarron and his husband Robert’s wedding day, the process behind it, and expert tips and recommendations for anyone planning an LGBTQIA+ wedding in Melbourne.

First of all, let’s talk about the outfits. They were such a harmonious blend of masculine and feminine.

Myself being a gay man, and Robert identifying as non-binary, we play with the traditions – the traditional marriage aesthetic. Robert wore a custom white suit, and I wore a black tuxedo. One of the influences was Baz Luhrmann at the Met Gala wearing a skirt. I found the boots from Alexander McQueen with studded tips. And then I found a place in Scotland that was doing custom leather kilts, so it kind of throws into that sort of BDSM realm. And so we started to build my outfit up from there. The shirt was Karl Largerfeld, the tuxedo jacket was MJ Bale.

And then Robert’s suit was InStitchu – and that was a beautiful process for Robert as well. They knew that they wanted to have a white suit. We had a wonderful experience with one of the guys there. A bride has a quintessential moment where they get to try on the dress with their friends and family. It’s one of those moments that are part of the preparation of your wedding. And Robert and I got to have that with their first fitting. And then the second and third fittings were with Robert’s bridal – or grooms – party. And so they had those beautiful emotional moments, glass of champagne, you know.

Was planning what you were going to wear important as a way of expressing your gender identity or sexuality?

It just evolved into that, it really did. Into this sort of gender bending of the roles and the reversals. It was a fun journey. We were watching a lot of the awards ceremonies, and the tailoring that Robert chose, it was a long jacket we’re now seeing on many different runways and red carpets, with a lot of celebrities wearing very similar suits.

Come to Canvas House if you want to know what’s hot.

Oh, absolutely! Yeah, I mean, Nash [Canvas House director] was our flower girl. Her outfit was extraordinary and outrageous, and she just looked the part.

I like that idea. Canvas House is a place where you can follow traditions, or you can stretch them as far as you want to.

Well, that’s it – it was an adult wedding (no kids). But we respect especially personal traditions, cultural traditions. Like what we did in my wedding [Māori traditions]. Which is why we adore and love cultural weddings, and we’re very open to them. We love having those clients. Indian Sangeets and their incredible use of colour and bollywood dancing, Jewish weddings with the hora. Pacific Islander celebrations with the entire reception singing in perfect harmony to church hymns. They’re all just fabulous. And it’s nice to see that cultural identity brought forward. We’re not, you know, the church. We appreciate traditions, but we ourselves will stretch those traditions and create new ones.

Yeah, that’s nice. So your vendors, what was the process there? How did you go about finding them?

Canvas House had already aligned with Theodore magazine. That was my first point of call, using the Theodore directory to find queer community vendors. Firstly, we found our photographer, Jacinta from The Lavender Haze. Loved her aesthetic.

Our florist was a dear friend, Danny Santos from The Green Room in Albert Park. And then our baker, that’s Ash Spitzs, from Spitzs Bakery. Food was Fourside Events.

Robert’s makeup was Mads Tudor, She Paints Face, another queer supplier. And when we sat down and met with Jacinta, she recommended Renee, the celebrant. Gaz Kempster was our DJ for the event, and he absolutely nailed it!

Why was having a queer celebrant important to you?

We realised that we wanted a queer celebrant, but I think it really just came down to the person. We wanted some of our supplies or vendors to be part of the queer community. We met with Renee and we all just fell in love with one another, she is one of the greatest human beings in the world, and she’s just been awarded for that at the Victorian Queer Awards. She’s an absolute rock star. She does these shotgun weddings, with tattoo artists. She’ll officiate your wedding, and then bring a tattoo artist and you get matching tattoos together. Or one of her other packages is that she’ll get dressed up as Dolly Parton.

Do you provide these recommendations?

Absolutely! We’re always happy to put you in touch with our entire rolodex of suppliers. We’ve worked with just about everyone in the industry and are always delighted to connect you with some of Melbourne’s finest. We don’t lock you into using preferred vendors!

Were there any preparations you had to make to avoid uncomfortable situations at your wedding?

We are fortunate enough that there hasn’t been any derision in the family. My family and Robert’s family are very open and very understanding.

What happens if something does kick off, or if someone is not behaving as you want them to? How would you guys go about making that situation as stress-free as possible?

If it’s a wedding here at Canvas House, I think that’s what probably sets Nash and I apart. We build a rapport with our clients, and we try to instill that level of trust. So that if there is a particular person or situation that they let us know about, we can keep an eye on it. We can be mindful and tactful in interacting and co-ordinating it.

My thoughts are, don’t fall into the trap of appeasing your family. It’s your wedding. If there is a negative person, if there is an aunt or uncle, a brother or sister, a cousin who doesn’t believe in the union of love that you two have, then they’re not meant to be there. And no parent or grandparent should have to insist, threaten or coerce you into inviting that person because they are a family member, or because they invited you to their wedding 17 years ago. Don’t buy into it. Stand your ground. No amount of money, and if it’s going to cause that much harm, is worth the stress or the risk.

If there’s any level of homophobia, it’s not welcome. It’s just not welcome in our venue. If there’s somebody there who’s going to make you feel awkward or unseen? They shouldn’t be there in the first place, even if it’s a parent.

How do you make sure your wait and bar staff are inclusive and acting appropriately?

It’s all part of the brief. If there is a particular person we need to be a little bit mindful of and if there are any cultural details or specific details about certain individuals, then I’ll let our crew know. Because they’re out there on the floor, they’re our eyes and ears. I respect and appreciate our teams and I know that they’ll alert us to any situations that may arise.

What was the most memorable moment of your wedding?

The ceremony. It was just that moment in time that I don’t think Robert and I will ever forget. I did all of the behind-the-scenes with myself and Nash and the [Canvas House] crew. Just before the ceremony, Robert got brought into the space, so it was the first time they saw the entire room and the concept come together, and it was just magical!

I had these incredibly beautiful, touching family moments. My parents presented me with our family korowai (Maori cloak) And then they walked me down the aisle. That for me was extraordinary. Robert walking down the aisle with their mum. One of my best friends reciting a poem, my other best friend presenting Robert and I with our beautiful pounamu (green stone pendants). Just looking out and seeing the emotion and the love in the room… that was just, oh it’s a whole other level.

I think for anybody who’s in love and who wants to get married – nobody has to get married – but if you want to have a wedding… that moment there, I think, is just one of the most extraordinary experiences of your life. It’s quite magical and electrified. You really feel the love reverberate throughout the room. Got to have a martini after that, just to sort of. chill out!

How did you manage your emotions on the day?

I thought I was just going to be drowning in tears… and it was fine. I think it was the adrenaline. When I looked out at the crowd, and I saw all of our people, that’s when I would get emotional. And training my concentration back onto Robert pulled me back together, and I was like, okay, cool. We’re here for a purpose. Like, let’s do this, let’s get hitched. I thought Robert was going to be a lot more emotional than they were. We both held it up together. You kind of… take a stance. And you brace yourself and you’re like… we’ve got to do this.

And you can’t ruin the eyeliner.

Oh, you can’t ruin the eyeliner!

What advice would you have for any couples in the LGBTQIA+ community planning or thinking about having a wedding?

If you are planning an LGBTQIA+ wedding in Melbourne, I think a great component is using community suppliers and vendors. Bring that aspect through. Express yourself. Through whichever way you want to do that… your outfits… your styling and decor. Remember that it’s about the two of you. Lean into your people, your wedding party, they’re there to help.

When thinking about your all-important photos, don’t take too much time away from your reception. A great idea is to do your first look pictures before the ceremony. Choose locations that are close to the venue. If you or your photographer have time prior to the big day, scout out the location to save time.

For family photos, have a run-sheet and someone from your wedding party to keep track of everyone. Timing is everything.

Make sure you take time out for yourselves. If there’s a bridal suite or a green room, at some point, even between ceremony and reception, take 10-15 minutes. Catch your breath, have a glass of wine, champagne, whisky, water. Water! Make sure you drink water! And remember to eat.

Just remember that not everything always goes according to plan. You’ve got a run sheet. But if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t matter.

That’s a good one. Just apart from the marriage itself!

Yeah, make sure you get hitched! But, just go with the flow. If the pyrotechnics don’t go off? If they don’t serve a particular canapé? Just keep going. It’s fine. We sacrificed our first dance. We really wanted to do it. But we didn’t get a chance, for a myriad of reasons. One of them was speeches went over time – our suggestions, keep them to a maximum 3-4 minutes.

*****

Aarron and Nash welcome all styles of weddings at Canvas House, whether you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community or not. If you’re looking for a stunning venue in the heart of Melbourne and a grand old party to kickstart life as a married couple, that’s the place to be.

If you’re interested in hosting your LGBTQIA+ wedding in Melbourne here, reach out online or send an email with your enquiry.